Rubinstein told conductor Stanislaw Skrowaczewski before a concert of this work that he wished he could die on stage playing Brahms. It was inconceivable, she said, that a man who wrote such exquisite and elegant music could be so foul mouthed". Wounded on April 7, he was always poor. He knew death was inevitable and his wife was terrified. That may explain his periodic anxiety, loneliness and sadness, 29 as he mentioned in his last and dire memo that x0201c;I have come to the end before having enjoyed my talentx02026;x0201d.